Pennsylvania, huh? Sure thing!

I am on my own tonight.  And I made a huge mistake- how could I forget to make sure there was ice cream in the freezer? I had to settle for oreos and milk.  It worked but...ya know.  Ice cream would have been so much more worth the calories.  :)

I am alone tonight because Blake is in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Surprise! He just found out on Friday when he sent an email to the JAG guy in DC that he was indeed signed up to go to MEPS (we had not heard anything back for 2 weeks), but there were no details.  We started making plans for him to take a day off to go to Fort Lee in Petersburg, approximately 1 1/2 hours away.  Well, this morning Blake got an email that was a tad more helpful- details about the time to arrive (5:45a.m.), what to wear, the hotel address in Harrisburg, Pa...wait, WHAT...?  PA? As in Pennsylvania?  Well, I guess that would be good to know since that is 6 hours away.  He finished up some work projects and hurried home to pack and get on his way.  It is just so funny to me.  When were they going to tell us this?  Kind of vital information, don't you think?  :)  He just called to let me know he made it to his hotel (it is 8:30p.m.)  I am glad he made it!  I wish I could have joined him for a spontaneous road trip.  We could have had a good time.  But alas, things are a bit more difficult to just drop when you have a nursing baby.  Blake is nervous.  I don't blame him.  A lot rides on this.  We would really like to get cleared for AF JAG.  That ensures a job.  And we kind of like those.  I'll be doing some praying tonight! Good luck my Love!!!

The price of untouched soup

It was not wise to stay up past 1am two nights in a row.  I can feel the ache behind my eyes for sure.  I still have those night owl tendencies.

This morning when I went in to feed Avind I had one of those transcendent moments.  I got him out of his crib and laid him on the bed next to me.  He was so still for a moment- looking up at me with his big, bright eyes in his smooth, flawless face.  He was perfect.  So perfect. And I felt this absolute contentment and love.  I was his whole world at that moment and he, too, was content with that.  He gazed at me so deeply.   It is incredible to recognize how absolutely dependent this little spirit is on me.  I wanted to keep that image in my mind forever. Every day I think, "I just want to memorize his face exactly as it is right at this moment." But the problem is that the next day that face is replaced with the new face that has changed just ever so slightly.  But I get to see him grow, everyday.  It is such a gift to mother this child. 

Collin impressed me this evening.  We had an invitation to get together with a couple of families for dessert and games after dinner.  But Collin didn't eat his soup.  Daddy made it clear that Collin would not get dessert if he did not finish his soup.  This was lentil soup that Collin declared as "Yummy! I love this soup!" the other day.  He wanted us to feed it to him.  But I am really trying to break that bad habit of spoon feeding him.  When it was time to go, the soup had not been touched and he told us that he chose not to have dessert.  Oh, boy.  We had to stick with our guns now.  I reminded him that he needed to be calm when everyone else was eating dessert and he wasn't.  Well, we got to the Alsop's and the kids played and the adults chatted and we all had a great time.  Soon, ice cream and cookies came out.  Everyone dished up, except for Collin.  And you know what? He did really well.  He stood by us and did tell us that he felt hungry and really wished he could have some dessert.  But there was no fit or crying or anger.  He kept his end of the deal.  I am very pleased with the maturity that showed.  When we got home he asked if he could eat his soup.  And he did.  I am glad to know he is not going to bed hungry. My Collin.  I am proud everyday of him.  Sometimes he is strong and wise beyond this 3 year old mind. I told him today that his great mind and ability to think is a gift and that he needs to make sure that he uses that gift to bless other people.  I am certain he will.

And I am fairly certain he will eat his soup next time during dinner.  :)

I love date night!

Last week I told Blake that I needed him to do something for me.  I asked him to plan a date for us.  And that meant the whole thing, including getting a babysitter.  I have subtly asked before but life gets busy for him and I tend to then just go ahead and figure it out.  But this time I just decided I was going to hold him to it.  And you know what?  My husband is awesome!  And he pulled through.  Last night we got to go on a date that I did not plan.  Happiness! And to add to that happiness is the fact that our date was Korean Food.  You just cannot go wrong with that option.  Mmmmmmm.  I love it.  We also got to spend time with our good friends the Allsbrooks and Glenn took us to a restaurant we hadn't been to yet.  I am absolutely certain I ate the most food. 

I am soooooooo glad we went out because the day yesterday was hectic!  I decided to take Avind in to the pediatrician for his never-ending cough and for his burn blisters.  I debated but I needed some peace of mind.  Plus I didn't want the problems to worsen on the weekend and then have to go to urgent care instead of our reg. dr.  The kids did pretty well.  Avind got prescribed his first antibiotics and an ointment for his burns.  Then the real fun began. 

Walmart.  Oh, many tears have been spilled in that place.  Usually mine.  I know I must be the picture perfect of frazzled as I tear through that place with my overflowing cart and two kiddos.  I get the looks.  If you are a mom, you know what I mean.  From the old people it is the, "Oh bless your heart.  You DO have your hands full." From the middle aged it's, "Hang in there! You can do this Momma. I actually enjoy my shopping now."  From my age, "sooooooooo glad it is not me this time" (at least that is what I think when I see other moms struggling with the screaming, hyperventilating child) and the young ones, "Why can't she control her kids? Seriously, why did she even come out?"  No, actually it wasn't TOO bad yesterday.  But it was Avind's nap time and sitting in the cart is no longer a fun thing to him.  So he cried a lot.  Luckily, my boys are cute and have amazing eyes that can captivate even the gruffest sort.  We charm quite a few people in our shopping journyings.  I did have an overflowing cart though. I usually do at Walmart.  I keep that place in business.  I will say that the cashier and workers there were fantastic.  They offered to grab a second cart and spoke kindly to me and even offered to help me load the bags in the cart and carry them to the car and unload.  Bless them!  I know that several months ago with a new baby and preschooler and two carts when I asked if someone could help me out the crochety lady said, "Walmart stopped doing that in the 90's" Nice.  Come one now.  No exceptions for an exhausted new mother.  I will be going to the Hickory store from now on, even if it takes an extra 10 minutes to get there. 

Collin's first soccer game was canceled today due to the rain.  He was pretty bummed about that.  But we went on a family run and later he and daddy went swimming at the Y.  We had a new family over for dinner that we met at soccer last week.  I could see in the mom's eyes when I met her that she needs some help.  She has a  5 month old and I just see the look.  The burned out one that is crying out for someone to talk to.  I really enjoy helping.  Because I have felt that desperation.  And I have had people reach out to me when I needed it.  So, we had them over and go along quite well.  We have plans to get together again soon.  I am trying to get her to come to spin on Monday with me.  We shall see if I am successful. 

I turned on the General Women's Broadcast at home tonight and I am glad I stayed here.  I tidied up our home as I listened to the encouragement.  I just kept having this thought about the amazing potential we have as women.  We are powerful in so many ways.  In my mind I could see it like a seed.  All the power to become a large and beautiful contributing tree is in that little seed.  Just like us.  I just need to tap into that divine power and grow.  :) It was a beautiful meeting. 

March 27- A three year-old can cry for a LONG time

In case you were wondering, Collin can cry for a long time.  You would think that by this time, using the potty wouldn't be a big deal.  But we still have to battle over here.  He hates taking the time to go.  I don't think it is actually going potty that is the problem, it's taking time to wash hands when it is over.  That is the time sucker.  I actually recall hating washing my hands when I was super little.  In fact, I remember turning on the water and letting it run to trick my parents into thinking I was washing.  Don't worry though- I have changed my ways and I wash my hands regularly.  :) Ug.  I think I am getting payback in so many ways. 

So, he was going to watch a show before quiet time. But, he had to go potty first.  And he refused.  And he cried. And cried. The fit went on and on.  I was once again able to control my own anger. I am so proud of myself!  I was determined not to yell or spank.  I made an effort to stay calm.  I finally told him there wouldn't be a show before quiet time and you would have thought I had cut off his big toe.  I held him and told him I loved him.  But I put him in his room.  He totally wore himself out and amazingly enough fell asleep.  It was WONDERFUL to have both boys sleeping.  I got a short little break.  When I woke Collin up I told him he could watch a show now- as long as he would use the potty.  Can you guess what happened?  More 3 year old tantrum.  Now it was funny to me.  He followed me around the house crying and I just couldn't stop laughing.  Sometimes as a mother you have to choose to either cry or laugh.  He was so miserable and insisted that he needed a show.  He couldn't live without it.  That is when I know we need to change something.  So, this next week has been declared TV free week. We'll see how that goes!

It once again took me 2 hours to make dinner.  It just is so hard when the two decide that is when they need everything.  And poor Avi stuck his fingers under the oven, which was hot, and burned his fingers.  I didn't realize how bad it was until I saw the massive blisters this morning.  But I finally got dinner on the table.  Collin ate a muffin.  Oh, so much for making food.  :)  When Blake came in at 6:30 I was ready for an escape.  I told him I was going grocery shopping.  He said, "Don't you want to get Avind ready for bed and feed him first?"  ha ha. "No, I will go and feed him when I come back" is what I said.  What I was thinking was, "Are you serious?  What I want is for YOU to deal with the kids.  I need a break. And I need it NOW!" I thoroughly enjoyed my 45 minutes away and got back to feed Avi and put him right into bed.  Ahhhhhhhhh.  I love bedtime.  

Blake was a saint and helped me with the dishes for our evening together.  Which I actually quite enjoyed.  And I needed his help.  I feel like I have been doing dishes FOREVER and the pile never diminishes.  I will say that it turned out in both of our favors later on that evening.  Helping with the house work is a huge turn on.  :)

This morning I tackled the laundry and enjoyed watching Property Brothers.  I would so love to renovate a house.  I just have no clue about anything construction. :) Maybe someday. We are enjoying having the two youngest Miller boys over.  Collin and Zack play so well together that it gives me a nice break.  All four boys played outside in the dirt and rocks.  It makes me happy to see them be entertained outside.  

I need to make a Walmart trip.  Ug. Super ug. I looked in the mirror and thought, "I can't go out in public like this! On second thought, I am going to Walmart.  I'll fit right in." :) I hope today is not my turn for the kids to freak out at the store.  Whenever I hear someone else's kids throwing a fit I don't judge, I just think, "Oh thank goodness it is not me this time!"

March 25- No more yelling for this Momma

Tues. March 25, 2014

Any parent knows the frustration of attempting to plan around nap time.  And every day it is this impossible challenge to figure out when can we go out and still make sure Avind gets his sleep.  I try to make apts and plans around him, but those are the days he picks to only sleep for 30 minutes and be extremely tired again right as I am getting ready to go.  It happened that way for me again today.  I decided I would go workout after I got Collin from school since I haven’t gone in several days.  And Avi was tired.  It really worked out okay.  There was an older lady who was willing to hold him the entire time so he was pretty happy.  I on the other hand felt like I was going to die attempting flip turns during my swim.  I am sure it was entertaining for the life guard. :)

So, we get home and Collin begs to watch a show and I figure he will comply to the promise of going strait to quiet time so I can shower.  And as soon as the time comes to go to his room, he starts into one of his fits.  Oh, boy.  He was unhappy about everything.  How dare I expect him to use the potty? And try to go poop?  That is outrageous!  Quiet time? How can I make him spend time all by himself?  I was really unhappy about the prospect of Collin waking up his sleep-deprived brother.  So, I was in a bind.  I felt myself getting very angry.  But I did something incredible today.  At least I think so.  I did not yell.  And I did not spank.  In fact I made myself smile at him and tell him I loved him.  Of course, that was easy to do after I made him go outside.  In the rain.  In the cold. Hey, I gave him fair warning.  And I told him he would be free to come in as soon as he was done throwing a fit.  I am sure the neighbors enjoyed hearing screams of, “Mommy let me in!!!! You did a VERY bad thing!  Now my socks are wet!  Let me in!” Once he calmed down a bit, I did bring him in, pulled him onto my lap, took off his wet socks and warmed his little feet in my hands.  And once again told him I loved him.  He did go to quiet time after a long battle.  And as I gave a sigh of relief and happily went down the stairs, anxious for some time alone, I heard a sound.  A cry.  And my quiet time was over.  ug. 

Another good mom thing I did today was reading with the boys.  We sat in Collin’s room for about an hour and read books.  Collin would bring me a book and plop down on my lap.  We would read it, and then Avind would bring a book and sit in my lap to read.  He loved the squeaky kitten book.  We read that one several times.  He is starting to get it. 

March 24- What a LONG day

Mon March 24

It was one of those days.  Ya know, the ones where you just keep looking at the clock and waiting for it to end.  There wasn’t anything particularly awful it just seemed like I could not get myself going.  And Avind had a rough day.  I felt like he was crying at me the entire day.  I felt frantic like I needed to be doing something for someone at all times.  Despite that, we had some highlights:

#1 Avind finally learned to clap!  And it was adorable.  Once he got it, he didn’t want to stop.  It even sounded like he said, “Yay!”  with us while we clapped.  He would roll back and forth between Blake and I while we sat on the bed and clap once he sat up. 

#2 Collin was sweet to me most of the day.  That may be due to allowing him to eat a bunch of candy. He and I built the other gingerbread house we got for Christmas.  The icing had a hole in it so when I would use it, a bunch would squeeze out of the hole and I would let Collin eat it.  He was in Heaven.  J I told him he was going to get a tummy ache and he said, “Then I LOVE tummy aches!”  And, he went to bed, without complaining, with only one story, at 7.  Wow!  It must be catching up to him. 

#3 Blake and I got to cuddle up to watch “The Amazing Race” together, and we still have time to get to bed early.  I know that is what we all need: some good sleep. 

March 23- A good day with my Collin

Sun. March 23

I had a good Collin day.  There were a few down moments, but overall, I was just in love with him.  This morning he came in and cuddled right up to me (Blake was at his meeting) and asked me about my dreams.  And at church Blake took Avind out to try to get him to sleep during sacrament so I got to hang out with Collin.  He cuddled up next to me for the whole meeting.  He was sweet.  And I got to watch him in Primary shoot a basket during singing time.  He gets so serious in there. We watched a family movie together and did more cuddling.  I love when I get that from him.  I can tell he is tired though.  He gets upset very easily.  All of us are a bit sleep deprived.  Need to get back on track this week!

March 22- Oh sleep! How I miss you!

Sat. March 22

We’ve had full days! And are all suffering a bit from sleep depravation.  I woke up a few nights ago and couldn’t figure out what had roused me.  After 35 minutes I still couldn’t get to sleep and then I heard Collin just choking on his sobs.  I sprinted upstairs and found him just standing in the middle of his room completely hysterical.  I couldn’t believe it.  He was crying so hard he was coughing and choking and hyperventilating.  I was shaken up but help him and tried to calm him.  I felt terrible that I didn’t hear him earlier.  It just killed me that he was up there all alone so scared.  I took him down and Blake joined us on the couch.  He finally calmed down and curled up in my arms to fall back asleep.  I don’t know what happened exactly.  I am afraid that watching Mupett Treasure Island may have been the trigger for some nightmares.  My Collin!  I am sorry to see you so sad!  We made a bed in our room on the floor and when I told him as I put him down he said, so like everything was normal, “I think the mattress would be much more comfortable.” J But I laid down with him for a bit.  He coughed all night,  His throat sounded so swollen it sounded like it was going to cough right up.  He jumped up after a few hours and Blake brought him right into bed.  They cuddled and slept quite nicely.  I didn’t.  I don’t know why I can’t sleep with them in bed.  But I can’t.  Collin got up the next night, but came down to us since I told him that we are here for him but he needs to come to us when he needs help.  He had a whole list of reasons he was out that night.  J But I took him back up to bed and he was fine.  This morning he came in early again.  So, we may have to take a while to get back into normal night-time sleeping.  We are all tired though!

Thursday was the first day of Spring.  And it felt like it.  Sarah invited us to go to the Botanical Gardens with them and it was perfect!  There were hundreds of daffodils all bright and happy to welcome in Spring.  The kids played for a long time on the pirate sand hill.  Avind got down to for the fun and just loved squeezing fistfuls of wet sand, often stuffing his mouth full of it.  He crawled up and scooted down and found some nice squishy mud too.  It made me happy to let him play and be outside to explore the world a bit. 

Yesterday I felt like I spent the whole day doing visiting teaching.  Which is funny because it was only an hour of actually visiting.  But it was the back and forth of taking the kids to be watched and picking them up and it really seemed to take all day.  We did end the eveing with dinner on the patio at Abuelos with the Kyriopolous’.  It really was nice.  But, Avind has reached the point where he is not restaurant friendly anymore.  It is almost not worth it.  He is soooooooooo wiggly.  I have people comment to me all the time, “wow.  He really moves a lot.  He is really active isn’t he?”  So, I guess I make busy kids.  He seems less difficult than Collin was, but then again maybe I just expect it now so it doesn’t seem as overwhelming. 

This morning was our first day of Collin’s official sports career.  :) We began soccer.  His team, our team since Blake and I are the coaches, is the Tigers.  We have 10 3-4 year olds.  I have never seen so many little people with little balls.  And so many parents with such high hopes and expectations for their kids.  It was a little difficult to figure out what was going to work.  Blake began as we had planned with some drills but I was not prepared for tears, and refusal to stay on the field and the clinging to mom.  I should have, I know 3 year olds, but I just didn’t realize that those things would happen.  The parents would get so flustered and try to make them stay saying, “he loves soccer!  He has been so excited!  I don’t understand what is going on!”  But it makes sense.  This is a totally new situation and if it felt a bit overwhelming for me, I can’t imagine how it was for the little ones.  I suddenly felt the light come on.  We needed to make this like primary or nursery.  It needed to be a game and be fun.  So, I took over and became silly and funny and talked high and played red light green light and follow the leader and had races and was silly and it totally worked.  I am so glad!  but it was a LONG 45 minutes for sure.  I think 3 is really too young to do a team sport.  But, here we are.  Because Collin really did want this.  It will be interesting to see how he likes it through the season.  It was hard to give him much attention with all that was going on.  Maybe that is good though.  For him to not always be the center of my attention.  Blake played some more with him when practice was over and he loved that. We celebrated with an exploration drive and then Chick Fil A.  Althought today Collin claimed he didn’t like those chicken nuggets.  AHhhhhhhh!  I am sure my parents figure this is payback.  I am getting what I deserve. 

The best part of the day was a good ol’ afternoon nap with Blake.  And when I say nap, I mean nap.  :) It only works during the day when we both don’t fall asleep before we can get anywhere.  Later, I got to do some work in the yard while Collin and Blake played Pirates on the Xbox. Avind joined me soon and once again enjoyed the rocks and dirt.  I love watching him discover things.  It is just delightful to see how wonderful simple things are to a 11 month old.  It is all so fascinating! We had dinner with some families in the ward and it really was great.  Blake had a huge wrestling match with all the kids and there was utter chaos and lots of peals of laughter and screams.  And Bro. Bell got Avind to take his first 3 steps!  Oh, it made my heart jump!  I love to see my babies do their firsts!  He did it once more a bit later for Blake. 

I was feeling a bit nostalgic about Collin and watched some videos of him when he was 19-23 months.  Oh my!  He was perfect!  It made me cry and I missed him.  I missed my little buddy.  It gets so much more complicated as he grows up.  I still adore him but now I see his weaknesses.  And maybe even worse is that he is starting to see mine.  But he was such an amazing talker!  I know everyone tells me how well he speaks and always has, but I don’t think I realized just how out of the ordinary he was.  Now though I hear other 2 year olds and I can see that he was way ahead of the curve there.  I love to hear him talk.  Okay, well most of the time.  J I need to make sure I don’t expect the same thing from Avind.  And that I don’t try to push him or feel disappointed if he doesn’t do the same. It really is hard not to compare children to one another.  I never want to make one of them feel inferior as I compare one of their weaknesses to the other one’s strength. 

March 19- Collin's favorite flower

Wed. March 19, 2014

Last night was a bit rough for us.  Avind was up it seemed every hour.  I finally went in to check on him at 3am and he was furious.  He did not want me to hold him and he did not want to go back in his crib.  I had to pin him down to change his diaper to make sure that wasn’t what was making him upset.  I left him crying and tried to go back to bed, but I was up thinking about life for another hour or so.  Then I heard Blake getting up and realized Collin was crying.  When Blake came back he said Collin had just been awake and couldn’t sleep and wanted me.  Who would’ve thought.  He never wants me. I guess I am his middle of the night comfort.  That is good.  I am glad to be needed by him.  Anyway, my head is pounding by now so tonight it is early to bed!  Well, earlier.  Hopefully by 10 anyway.

Avind is officially 11 months old today.  I love seeing his skinny little naked body maneuver around.  He has no fat- just my skinny little baby.  I can’t believe he will be a year old so soon.  He loves to climb into his old car seat and rock back and forth in it. 

Collin said the sweetest thing to me this morning.  We were walking into the YMCA and I saw the Daffodils and said, “I just love those daffodils!  I think they are one of my favorite flowers!”   Collin responded, “Do you know what my favorite flower is?”  I said, “Which one?”  And he said, “You Mommy!”  Oh, my darling boy.  Made me feel like the prettiest thing on this earth!

I was feeling quite down and out of sorts yesterday morning so after Collin was at school and Avind was in bed, I said a prayer to ask for help.  I then decided to do something for myself.  So I made up a nice bubble bath and read, ”The Secret Garden.”  I lOVE that book.  It has been a long time since I have read it, but it was just what I needed.  And the rest of the day I felt very content and happy.  I would love my own secret garden.  That is where I go in mind when I am trying to relax and go to sleep.  Hmmmmmmmmm.  It makes me happy. 

We invited the missionaries over for dinner tonight.  It was nice to have them.  I like giving Collin a chance to interact with them.  And after dinner I asked them to do the dishes for me and they did and I am so glad!  It would have taken me a long time.  Collin gave them his entire talk that he gave about Enos in Primary 3 weeks ago.  This kid is incredibly smart.  It was so fun to listen to him. 

And then I got to read some of “The Secret Garden” to him as he laid in bed and I got to watch him fall asleep.  I don’t even remember the last time I got to watch him fall asleep.  He has become such a big boy.  I studied his features and realized just how big he has grown.  Oh, I love my Collin. 

March 16- Homemade chicken nuggets

Sunday March 16

Blake was wonderful and took care of the kids this morning.  More than sleep, I needed that break from the morning routine with them.  Just time to roll over and stretch and drift off again.  We had Stake conference (a broadcast) and there was an excellent talk given on Self Discipline.  I wish I could have copied it all down.  The kids were pretty good.  Blake got Avind to nap in his arms for a bit and then thankfully he woke up so I could feed him-I felt like I was going to pop! The joys of nursing.  :)

We made homemade chicken nuggets and fries today for dinner.  Blake did the nuggets and Collin loved them.  I am not sure if it was because of how they tasted or if it was simply because Blake made them.  But whatever it was, I am glad he ate them.

Avind is quite demanding lately.  He lets out his little raptor screech when he wants something or is unhappy about something else.  And he finally has a little tooth ridge breaking through his gums.  All of us have this cold, but it scares me when he coughs.  I worry he can’t breathe. 

I got to skype with Shawn and Loralei and Landon.  It was really nice.  It has been a long time since we have talked and especially since I have seen the kids.  We made faces at each other and laughed.  I miss Shawn.  We were such good friends.  No one could make me laugh quite like him.  It is a shame that we are so far away.  We talked about how it is just so hard to keep in touch during this busy kid phase of life.  At least we both understand that.  I am so glad he found Fawn.  I would be so sad if he was alone. 

Blake and I splurged and watched two shows tonight.  Both of us are dreading the coming week.  It just feels like a lot.  Mondays are infamously disliked for a reason, eh?  At least we are moving forward with the AF process now.  It will be so interesting to see where we end up in a few months from now.  Where will Collin turn 4?  Interesting thought. 

March 15- Mint Oreo shakes make everything better!

Sat. March 15

I am very pleased to report that all the dishes are done and the kitchen is clean.  For some reason the last couple of months I feel like I have been trying to catch up on the dishes everyday and getting nowhere.  Awhile back I made a commitment to keep my closet clean and it seems my mess had to express itself somewhere; hence, the kitchen problem I suppose.  But it is clean at this moment and that makes me feel good. 

I would say my feeling of the day is worn out.  I feel pretty beat.  Blake has been working longer hours now that his boss is gone and most of the stuff at home has been up to me.  I have had several nights of putting the kids to bed without him and it is tiring.  Plus several nights of Collin needed help after having an accident in bed makes me even more tired.  And to top it off, we all caught the same cold.  I don’t think we’ve ever all had the same thing all at the same time.  Ug.  That is how it makes me feel.  This morning I really just wanted to be left alone.  But as a mother that is impossible.  Blake went to play basketball and I thought he was taking a long time to get back home.  I started getting a little perturbed. And then he calls to tell me he saw that only 2 people had showed up to clean the entire church building so he had stayed to help them. Certainly can’t get mad about that!  What a good catch I have. 

Some highlights of the day:

#1Reading a book.  Yes.  I got to read a book and it wasn’t too long or involved so I didn’t feel completed addicted to the book and annoyed with people who need me.  “The Cay” is a great quick read and I think Blake is going to read it with Collin next.

#2 The Ice Cream Truck.  The worst or the best sound.  Today it was the best because I decided to get Collin a treat and he was so excited!  He ate some mac and cheese that even I thought tasted bad and did it without complaining.  So, we splurged.  We waited and waited and finally saw the truck come around the corner.  Collin got shy at the last moment and hid behind me.  But we got a cookies and cream bar for him and daddy and then enjoyed a warm and sunny afternoon in our backyard eating our ice cream treats. 

#3 Watching Avind eat Spaghetti.  He loved it!  It was in his mouth, on his chest, in his hair- he was covered.  And he loved it.  In the bath later as I clean him up he found a noodle that had made it’s way to the tub with us and he promptly ate that one too.  :)

#4 Having Omi and Papa skype with Collin for an hour before bedtime while Blake was at Stake Conference.  Seriously, saved my evening.  So glad we have that tool!

#5 A mint oreo shake from CookOut from Blake as a “Thank you for staying home and putting the kids to bed” offering.   Like I said, good man.  :)

March 13- The green smothie that wasn't green

March 13, 2014

I am currently raging a battle called, “getting Collin to eat something besides cheese and green oatmeal.”  Anyone who is a parent has waged this war I believe.  I was the youngest child and I am pretty sure my parents lost this battle.  I ate tortilla with cheese on a daily basis.  However, I fully intend on winning against Collin.  But some days I am ready to throw in the towel.  I have had a few of those days just this week.  By the time Blake arrives home he finds me crying in the kitchen, Avind crying clinging to my legs, and Collin crying at the table.  What a joy, eh?  I have told myself too many times, “I HATE this!” when really I want to love it.  So, once again I am attempting to figure out this mess we call dinnertime. 

I have a few things going here that I am hopeful about.  

#1 I got a baby gate for the kitchen.  So at least now Avind can cry at the gate instead of at my legs. 

#2 I got a kid’s cookbook from the library and I had Collin pick out some recipes to try cooking with me.  We went shopping yesterday for the ingredients and he was pretty excited to pick them out for me.  I won’t go into detail about the rest of the shopping trip.  I will just leave it at it did not go well. 

#3 I am not going to wait for Blake for dinner anymore.  I am going to feed the kids at 5:00 as much as I can

#4 Collin and I had a good talk about the importance of at least trying new things and he did say he would do a better job of at least trying. 

We had one success this afternoon.  We tried the “Green Monster Smoothie” from the cookbook which we chose specifically because the picture showed a nice green smoothie and Collin loves all things green.  Well, it lied to us.  The smoothie turned out to be a deep purple color thanks to the frozen blueberries it called for.  And the Kale we added didn’t blend as well so there were little tiny green flakes throughout the whole thing.  BUT Collin had a blast putting all the ingredients in and he tried it.  He took two good sips before deciding he didn’t like it.  I can’t say I was a fan either but I was sure to happily drink my share while Collin was watching me.  Avind on the other hand loved it and sipped all of Collin’s right up.  We decided to make the extra into popcicles and are going to see if we like them that way any better.  And Collin has agreed to try another smoothie tomorrow.  So, there is hope!

March 11- Sexy Momma!

March 11, 2014

I had a few “Ah-ha” moments yesterday.  The first was when I looked at myself in the mirror after spending a day outside.  My hair was tousled and I had not put on any make-up.  But I thought, “I look happy.  I look pretty.” This was kind of a big moment for me.  I have never felt particularly beautiful without at least some mascara on.  I always thought not wearing make-up was kind of an indication that I was letting myself go.  Or after I had kids a sign that I was just too busy to take care of myself.  But I looked at myself and I felt pretty.  And I realized that I don’t need make-up all the time.  It doesn’t have to fall in the same category and eating and brushing my teeth.  And I can still feel pretty.  And when it’s date night, and I do put on make-up it will be a real “wow” factor.

The second was right as I was ready to get into bed.  I had thought I would put on a nighty to be cute for Blake, but in my reflection I caught what at first I deemed quite unattractive- a limp, saggy boob line in my plunging pj neck line instead of the nice, taut, rounded boobs that I envisioned is supposed to show up in sexy nighties.  I thought to myself, “Oh, yeah.  That’s sexy!  Saggy boobs!  What a turn on!” And I rolled my eyes at myself.  And then I stopped and realized what I was looking at is real.  The real deal.  The only time boobs look like I was thinking is in magazines and on tv when there is some serious help- aka tape, underwire, plastic surgery, photoshop.  But it is simple physics.  Gravity pulls weight down.  There you have it.  It is as unreal to expect breasts to hold up on their own as it is to expect a pony tail to stick strait out.  And I was annoyed that once again I had been affected by the lies of the world and media.  So, I took a good look again at myself and said, “You are beautiful and sexy.  And your body is doing just what it should.“ And I felt pretty once again.  So, take that Sports Illustrated.  :)

March 10- Sunlight is good for the soul!

March 10, 2014

I love daylight savings.  I know it is much more difficult to wake up in the dark, but I love, love love love long sunny evenings.  Sunlight is good for my soul.  And we had a 65 degree day. Halleluiah! Today was a put-the-house-back-together kind of day.  Collin was a good sport and helped me tidy up.  We especially enjoyed gardening today.  Collin watched a Sesame Street where they planted seeds, so he was delighted to help me outside.  He asked if we had any seeds to plant and what do you know, I did.  They have been sitting in the garage for 4 years. J So, we finally broke them out.  We were outside from 11-6. Ah, I feel so much better!  And we planted the flower seeds.  I hope something grows! Avind joined us after his nap and was soon sporting a dirt moustache.  He was eating dirt and sucking on rocks and playing in water.  It was baby heaven for him.  Collin also happened to find the left over green water spray bottle from our snow fun and soon Avind also had a green face and green hair.  I was a little concerned whether or not it was going to come out, but I had a good laugh.  What a big brother thing to do! I attacked the crazy devil rose bush we have and it attacked me back. I have all sorts of little scrapes.  We finished off with a run.  Both kids in the jogger and on a hunt for daffodils.  I love those little happy flowers.  Collin spotted them all for me.  What a good day with my babies.  Thank you sunshine!