No government jobs for us!

I can't believe it has been over a week since my last post.  I have been in this fog of little sleep and lots to do.  It makes it difficult to function to say the least. 

A few things from this week:
1- I put together a gift for my Dad for his 60th birthday.  I can't write what since I know he reads my posts, but it required a few late nights.  I think it is going to turn out really good, but I am paying for the lack of sleep.

2-My other time consuming task has been to put together a Father's Day gift for Blake since we accidently planned our trip so that he will be alone here during that day.  I have an awesome idea (at least I think so). Now, if I can actually pull it off before we leave... once again cannot leave details due to the fact that Blake reads my posts.  Well, sometimes.  :)

3-Avind can walk 10-15 steps at a time now.  And the best is when Collin gets down on his knees and Avi walks to him.  Collin puts on his best baby talking voice, "come on avi!  You can do it!  Walk to me!" and Avind does and then Collin catches him in a big hug and they hold onto each other.  It is so sweet to watch.  It often then turns into Collin tackling Avind but that is fun too. 

4-  Collin had his last day of preschool today.  I just can't even believe that.  It was a wonderful place to have his first official school experience and I am so pleased that we chose that school. 

5-We had our last soccer game this evening.  It was a perfect summer evening: humid, warm, and with big dark storm clouds moving in.  It began to rain big, wet drops right as we were leaving after the game.  We won a lot to a little and Collin had a pair of goals again.  He just loves being out there.  It almost breaks his heart when he has to take his turn sitting out.  And he was just tickled that they got medals at the end. I am glad we coached.  It was a great experience.  By the end Jack would light up when he saw me and would give me big hugs.  The kids were proficient for the most part at doing toe touches and rolling the ball and could dribble into the goal in a drill.  They also could line up with their ball and almost even wait their turn to do a drill.  :)  The parents were great too.  No one yelling at each other.  I am very pleased with how it went.  And our team dominated.  Just sayin!

6- We officially heard from the Air Force today that they will not grant us a medical waiver.  So, we are done with that 9 month process now.  Not unexpected.  Still a bit hard to swallow.  But, Blake has really wanted APMT to work out the last few weeks.  So, at least that wasn't the "no" we got today.  But, still a bit saddening.  No world living or traveling for us.  No from the CIA, no from the State Department, and No from the AF.  Guess our track is not meant to be in government work.  Glad to have an answer and now we can move on.  Blake had to tell Collin, "Daddy is not going to be a soldier." Collin did a good job getting over it pretty quick. 

7- I was tickling Avind yesterday and would say, "tickle, tickle, tickle!" when I stopped he would take my hand and put it back on his leg and say "digga, digga!"  Super adorable. 

8-We went to the beach yesterday with a Mom group and Sarah and Lily.  It was a fun trip.  I especially enjoyed my energy spurt I somehow found.  I played tag with all the kids in the water and along the shore.  They LOVED it.  And I had a bunch of fun being the fun one and playing with them. 

Well, now I am feeling sleepy.  I may have taken 1/2 a sleeping pill...I need some good sleep tonight before this vacation gets here.  Because chances are, I won't get much sleep then.  Good night!

Sweet little kisses

I just need a minute to capture a beautiful moments:

Yesterday at dinner Avind was eating his enchilada very well.  I had him in the high chair close to me.  He gave a little, "Eh!"  Which means, "I need you."  I came in close and he used his one messy hand to grab my face and pull it in and then he gave me a sweet little kiss.  It was so wonderful to feel so loved by someone so little.  He repeated that 3 times.  I loved being a mother at that moment. 

Avind is also taking steps on his own.  Often 3 or 4 at a time.  He will get it soon!

Reset

I will be the first to admit that last week was not a good one for me.  I was certainly failing in the mother and wife category.  Isn’t it interesting how easy it is to get into a rut?  I was stressed about figuring out our trip to Utah and I neglected everything else.  I was so short with Collin and I did hardly anything for them.  I was not a good mom.  And I didn’t like it. 

So, the best thing about Sunday is that for me, it is like pushing the “reset” button.  And I did.  I made some goals today that I think will re-center my life and help me reclaim the “good mom” spot.  Here they are:

1-Say a sincere kneeling prayer 2 x day

2- Read 5-10 minutes of scriptures a day

3- Exercise 3 x this week

4- Play 1 game with each child daily

5- Read for 10 minutes with each child daily

6- Have family pray daily

7- Have family scripture study

8-Have an official FHE

9- 15 second kiss 2 x day with Blake

Today was much better.  Much much better.  I had a focus and a purpose in being a mom and it made a world of difference.

We went running this morning.  Collin did a loop with me and I ran a quick mile.  I was pleased to clock an 8 minute mile while pushing the double jogger.  Not bad, eh? We stopped by our new neighbor’s home (Lauren) and she and her dog Jose joined us for a cool down walk.  She joined us a bit later too to make some strawberry jam.  I took the kids VT with me…not so fun.  I can’t do that without a sitter again. 

After Collin’s quiet time I did something I have failed to do in a while: I spent time with him.  I took a game into him and we played together and I loved it.  I know he did too.  I need to do that more.  I want to do that more.  I had him sit on my lap and we read books.  It was lovely.  We got Avi up and went outside and while I watered the lawn, which soon turned into watering Collin.  He said it was his water park.  And he absolutely loved it. 

Blake made me his special mother’s day meal this evening.  It was spectacular.  No more Olive Garden for me- Blake can do it right here.  It was a Chicken Milano all fancied up.  You see he cooked it today because unfortunately yesterday he was quite sick and out of commission.  I actually wasn’t feeling too well either.  What is it with him and getting sick on holidays???

Let me briefly recap our wonderful moments from this weekend that made this an incredible mother’s day weekend despite the sickness. 

1- Avi is taking steps!!!  He is standing on his own all the time now.  And he will do a good 5-6 steps on his own.  Just another week or two and we will have a walker.

2-Collin scored at least 5 goals in his soccer game!  5!  And he assisted at least 2 more.  We had him sit out during the first quarter and while we talked he asked what would happen if he scored 3goals.  I told him that if he scored 3 goals, I would take him to get ice cream after the game.  Well, that did it!  He was like the energizer bunny.  He was so incredibly fun to watch.  And he did not want to go out.  All the other kids wanted a break, but not him. Later he told Blake, “I didn’t want to take a break because I just love the game!” 

3- We did our annual strawberry picking after the soccer game.  It was perfect.  Avind would stuff an entire berry in his mouth and the juice would just dribble down his little chin.  Collin was so excited about his ice cream that we made quick work of it and made our way to Bergie’s Breadbasket for the ice cream.  What Blake didn’t know was that he was getting ice cream for Avi, not him.  J Avind used the little sample spoon and went right to work on that ice cream. 

4- Speaking of ice cream, that was another of Blake’s gifts to me.  He made a homemade chocolate custard and it is beyond delicious.  Oh, my!  It is perfection.  And that is saying a lot because I am not usually a chocolate lover.  Yum.  Makes me want to go eat some right now actually. 

5- Last Saturday Blake and Collin came home from the store with a aboquet of flowers for me.  And they were in perfect bloom for this mother’s day weekend.  They are lovely and so very happy.  Jack keeps trying to eat them everytime I bring them down.  Collin does a good job of chasing him away.

6- I got to go shopping for myself on Sat. night.  I had only an hour.  But I found some really nive things

Thanks Mom!

One of the most wonderful and unexpected blessings that has come with becoming a mother is my increased ability to understand, appreciate, and love my own Mom. I relish this new-found connection with her.  I know when I have a rough mom-day, or an incredibly happy mom-day, she will understand and be able to match my emotion with her own.  I have never felt so close to her and I love it.

So, in honor of her this mother's day I just wanted to take some time to write about the treasure moments I have of my mom.  This is not going to be all the moments- there are far too many.  But these are some of my most prized.

1-I remember this time we went grocery shopping and on way back we got stuck at a railroad crossing with the longest train.  Mom loved warm french bread and so without a beat she reached back into the grocery bag and pulled out the french bread we had just bought. We pulled off handfuls of the yummy bread and ate it right there in the front seat.  I just remember feeling so happy as we giggled and ate our bread.

2-I got a citation from school once for talking too much.  I was very ashamed for being in trouble.  I recall my mom looking at it and saying, "Oh, well you just like to talk.  Not a big deal." I felt so grateful she hadn't made me feel worse than I already did.

3- My first trip to Mexico was with Mom.  We had taken a trip to Southern Ca for a little spring time getaway and Ed Torriente happened to be taking a trip to their home in Mexico.  So, we tagged along.  We ate lobster for the first time and I even got to learn how to surf.  When we got back to CA and it was the day to leave, the weather was PERFECT.  So, on a fly, we decided to stay an extra day.  We spent the entire day on the beach and it was perfect.

4- Another beach trip- this time to go to Heike's wedding.  The problem was, neither of us put sunblock on our feet.  We were in such pain at the reception!  You can bet I have never forgotten to put it on my feet again.

5-I recall feeling so proud to walk into the front office of the elementary school and see my mom working there.  She looked so official and professional.  I also remember her coming across the street so we could go home from school and she recognized that I was unhappy.  I cried to her in the car about how the girls who were supposedly my friends had teased me all day about my new socks I was wearing.  I felt so embarrassed and lonely.  She held me and just listened.  I knew I was safe with her.

6- I decided to be Shakespeare for Halloween.  That is, Shakespeare, our dog.  She sewed my costume for me.  I loved it- even if people thought I was a white bunny instead of a dog.  :)

7- I could hear my mom cheering for me at every soccer game and every track meet.  She was there every time.  And she always made certain I had everything I needed before hand.  She made breakfast and packed my lunch and water.  I could count on hearing her shrill cry right as I pushed to the finish line.  Thanks for being my manager mom!

8- If I liked a boy, mom liked him too.  She trusted me.  And she would be sure to invite him for dinner.  I spent many Saturday mornings at the foot of my parent's bed recounting my date or activity from the night before. She particularly came to adore this young man named Blake.  When he had very little support, she did all she could do step in as a "mom". Even when he was on his mission, she wrote to him faithfully.  And when he came home she paid for him to buy some clothes.  When I broke up with him, she declared that just because I broke up with him didn't mean she had to. She was absolutely delighted when we came back together and soon were married.

9- When Blake had heart surgery, she became our live-in nurse to take care of him while I worked.  She brought him food and made sure he did his "breathing exercises" (although sometimes we would giggle because it sounded like she would say "breeding exercises"). I remember her trying to help fix the sprinkler and it turning on and soaking her.  I even have a great picture of it somewhere.  She is running towards me, soaked and laughing.  :)

10- She began Collin's love of stories.  She was gracious enough to watch Collin for 3 days while we went to Blake's bar exam.  She told him stories and he has loved stories ever since.  The 3 bears is the one he always requests during our skypes.

11- I remember when I was really little going to the river to go swimming.  She would pack up the kids and we would go.  She loved the water and loved swimming.  And I do to.  Give me a river, a lake, an ocean, a puddle- anything and you will find me in it.  All because of a mom who taught me to love it.

12- I can hardly make dinner each day.  I try to imagine how my mom came home from working full-time and still made nutritious dinners for us.  But she did.  And we had some wonderful times together around the dinner table.

13- I remember going to Thrifty's and getting a bright green mint chocolate chip ice cream cone.  I loved it!  And mint choc chip is still to this day one of my favorite flavors.

14- Friday's were Chinese take-out dinner days.  We would stop at the grocery store on our way home and get two heaping containers of yummy food.  We especially loved the wontons dipped in sweat and sour sauce. Mmmmmmmm.

15- When I was 16 I got my wisdom teeth out.  Coming out from the anesthesia made me really sick.  I recall throwing up over and over and seeing my mom crying and saying, "Oh, Mike!  I can't stand seeing her so sick!  I wish I could be the one throwing up for her." I felt so loved at that moment.

16- We planted strawberry plants in the backyard and one summer I remember going and picking fresh strawberries together and putting them over ice cream.

17- It was a bit tough sometimes when Mormor would visit.  I can see now that suddenly being around 3 kids for an extending period of time must have been exhausting.  But I remember that every time she got upset at something I did, my mom would jump right in and defend me.  

18- Mom was not overly concerned about superficial things like make-up or fashion.  She looked nice and she stayed up on styles, but she had a natural beauty.  I learned from her that I didn't need to plaster my face in make-up or show my body off to get attention.  She insisted on modesty and focusing on building my inner beauty and she taught me by example.

19- I have saved a ton of money thanks to mom.  She is very frugal and I learned from her that it is important to be wise with your money.

20- Once while she was visiting us in VA we went to the beach together.  While I fed Collin in the car, she ran to the McDonald's to get us ice cream cones.  She said, "won't they melt?" and I insisted that it would be fine.  I can still remember her face as she opened my car door and melted ice cream splattered all over the door.  I had been totally wrong.  They melted all over.  But I can't stop laughing now thinking about her face.  :)  Sorry mom!

21- Mom was the biggest life-saver when we moved from Williamsburg to Chesapeake.  She was amazing at packing and organizing.  She just did so much for us.  And when I needed to cry from being tired and frustrated, she was there for me.

22- I love flowers and gardening thanks to mom.  She gave me a profound love for nature.  Sunsets, and stars and trees.  I love them because she loved them.

23- While we spent a summer in Norfolk she stayed with us.  We also had to dog sit during those weeks.  Those dogs ate not one, not two, but three entire boxes of multi-grain cheerios.  Can you believe it?  Neither could we.  :)

24- Also during that stay we had to clean up an incredible amount of dog poop in the house after one of the dogs got sick while we were away during the day.  She cleaned on her hands and knees right there along side of me.

25- We took a trip to New York and I remember our day at Niagra Falls.  We had so much fun together!  We laughed and talked and it was just heaven!  We decided to cross into Canada and watched the lights on the falls from that side.  It was spectacular.

26- Christmas growing up was absolutely magical.  It was so full of rich tradition.  It wasn't just the presents, it was the entire atmosphere at our home.  Mom always made sure the home was decorated and she baked and cooked and played Norwegian music.

27- Mom kept a clean house.  I don't know how with everything else she had going on, but our home was tidy.  That was one of her gifts.  She cleaned as she went.  That is a gift I do not have and am trying to learn!

28- Mom loved to cuddle.  She would let me climb into bed with her in the morning and we would cuddle and talk.

29- Another precious memory is the time she was living alone in Hurricane. My dad was already in Henderson for work and I had gone up to BYU for the summer.  She had had surgery on her gall bladder just a few days before.  I called and asked how she was doing. She bravely answered that she was fine.  After I hung up, I just knew that I needed to go to her.  I threw a few things in a bag and jumped in the car and drove the 4 hours.  When I got to our house I called her, pretending I was still in Provo.  While we were on the phone I rang the door bell.  You should have seen her face when she opened the door and saw me there.  She dropped to her knees, and cried, "How did you know I needed you?" That night was one of the most wonderful and precious times I have every shared with her.  We laid in bed and she told me stories of her childhood and memories of Mormor.  We stayed up late into the night together.  It was incredible.

30- The last one to share is a compilation of images of her standing on the porch waving to me as I drive off or standing just outside the security line and I walk through the airport.  She is always crying.  And so am I.  Because I love her so very much.  And I know she loves me with all her heart.

Oh, mom.  Thank you for everything you are.  Thank you for everything you have done for me.  I love you more than I could ever say.  Happy Mother's Day.

I hate airlines

I am not sure I could adequately explain the anguish of the while process I went through to buy plane tickets. Let's just say that the system set up for finding and booking flights online is absolutely ridiculous. I just spent two days strait trying to figure out how to fly us all out to Utah without breaking the bank completely. And who knew a rental car would cost $1000? Yeah. Not me either. So we had to change our plans to fly into Vegas where we will borrow the car to drive up to Provo. And that was a train wreck. Our credit card is going to be a muddled mess with all the purchasing and canceling. I hope it all comes out right. 

At least now it is final. We are going to Utah and we leave on May 25. Yay!

Cottage Cheese and Pepperoni for dinner

Sometimes I have a day where I just kind of check out.  Ya know what I mean?  You feel like you have lost control so you just kind of stop trying.  It was that kind of a day for me.  I am not even entirely sure what seemed so challenging.  But I struggled. 

It was an absolutely gorgeous day weather wise.  I took the boys out running.  Collin ran a lap with me around our neighborhood.  He was really cute and so excited.  He told me, "It is a beautiful morning Mommy!" and then at the end added, "Mommy we should do this every day!"  Alright then!

I watched Yeti and Jer for a few hours for Stella.  Seems like Yeti and Collin have a love hate relationship.  They went back and forth a lot.  And Collin is on a super whiney kick so any time she did something he didn't like it was that super annoying break down of "Mom! She won't play baseball with me! Mom!  She says marshmallows can only be eaten in smores!  MOm! She won't let me use the watering can!" and on and on it went.  I got a report of everything Yeti did that Collin did not approve of.  oi.  He was a challenge.  And then they didn't want Jer to play with them.  And then Avind wanted to be held or hated getting his diaper changed.  He is sooooooooooooo wiggly when you try to change him.  And angry.  And I am pretty sure every diaper, except maybe 3, in the last 3 weeks have been poopy.  No fun for either of us. 

Once Stella picked them up I was dreading making dinner.  It felt impossible.  Blake's wise suggestion: make Collin cottage cheese and pepperoni.  And you know what?  That was a perfect idea.  So, mom of the year award goes out to me for excellent dinner preparation.  But we were all happy so who cares. 

Some positives of the day:
1-Avind's 3-toothed grin.  So cute.  Just absolutely adorable. Love it so much!  Wish I could keep that image in my mind forever and ever.
2-Playing with the kids on the guest bed and making the sign "where" with Avi while we looked for Collin under the covers.
3-Avind will blow kisses now.
4-Collin running as fast and as hard as he knows how next to me and smiling the whole time. 

5-Avind helping Collin with his chore of unloading the silver wear. 

5-Making the best breakfast burritos I've ever made for Blake and I tonight. The key?  Toasting the tortillas in butter.  Mmmmmmm.
6- Cuddling up to watch a show with my sweetheart (I almost typed sweatheart.  :) Ha ha)

Friday May 2- Worst Pancake Maker in the World

I had rolled over and cuddled up to Blake to get a little more sleep when suddenly there was a little voice next to me that said, "I'm just too excited to make pancakes!" It made me jump!  That is one way to wake up.  I pulled Collin into a hug and tried to convince him to cuddle for a bit, but we were soon up making our pancakes.

So, I had a suspicion before, but after this morning I am fairly certain of it: I am the worst pancake-maker in the world.  I don't know why, but I cannot figure out pancakes.  It shouldn't be that hard!  I mean, Ihop and Denny's have it down, how can I not get this right?  In fact, I would rather make any other breakfast than pancakes because my chances of success are very slim.  Luckily, due to my inability to make pancakes, we don't have pancakes at home and Collin really doesn't know how to distinguish a good from a bad pancake.  I guess it stems from the fact that my mom is from Norway where they really don't make pancakes.  They make panacake- crepes.  So, we never had them at home growing up either.

I followed the recipe on the back of the Curious George book.  Well, I guess that could be our first problem; Curious George is not exactly Martha Stewart I suppose.  Monkeys are not usually high on the list of gourmet chefs. But still, shouldn't make that much of a difference.  Collin did decide we should add blueberries, which is a big deal since he is usually too picky to try that.  I think he was getting quite hungry.  And he did let me put butter on them, which is also a step in the right direction of him trying new things.

All-in-all, they weren't terrible.  And Collin thought they were delicious.  That really is all that matters. I thought they were okay.  And Blake was a good sport and ate them regardless of what he really thought about them.  So, I count it as a food victory in this battle I am waging against my picky eater.

I had a good day with the kids.  I took some good time to play with them and their giggles laughter were well worth the effort.  Avi's got one front tooth that has poked through and the other one has just barely broken the surface so his happy grin is absolutely adorable.  Collin is a good brother.  I love watching him play with Avi.  Collin gave me a scare during his quiet time.  He let out some "something in here is trying to kill me!" screams so I bolted up stairs as fast as possible and threw open the door.  "What is it?!  What's wrong? Are you okay?!!"  Collin's terrified response as he ran to me, "There's a fly in here!!!" Phew!  A fly!  Oh goodness.  I was ready to kill a dinosaur.  :)

I decided to give Collin a little break and made pita pizzas for dinner.  He was definitely thrilled.  Although I put everything on his that I put on the rest of ours and he was not pleased with the green onions.  He finally figured out that he could pick them off. We had a fabulous evening when Blake got home.  We ate our pizzas out on our back porch and I turned up the music and starting dancing all silly-like.  Daddy pulled Collin up and they joined me dancing and leaping around.  Avi wiggled a little dance in his seat with his pizza sauce covered self.  That was, indeed, a wonderful treasure moment.

Blake and Collin ended the day with a Goo Baf.  It is this packet that makes the water turn to green goo.  It was wild.  Definitely a big hit for both of them.  I had a few precious moments alone with Avind as I got him into bed. Those are the moments that make this life worth it.  His big brown eyes looking up at me as I held him and sang to him.  Oh, how I love him!

Loved so well

I love how Sundays are a good reset.  It marks the beginning of a new week for me.  I love that it is different from every other day.

We had fun on our way to church.  Blake and I like to sing and be silly and Collin is so funny sometimes.  He gets really serious and tells us to stop because we are being annoying.  That in turn makes us want to do it even more.  I can't wait to embarrass him as he grows up with our silliness.


Avind was wiggly today!  He would almost just wiggle right out of my arms.  I felt that I definitely needed to bear my testimony today and I took him up with me.  :)  I wonder how that looked.  he did pretty well but after awhile got a bit bored and tried to escape.  Bishop Dudley took him for me and set him on his lap until I was finished.

I bore my testimony about sometimes having periods of time when you don't feel the spirit or when you anticipate something to be really spiritual and it is not.  And it is difficult because you wonder why Heavenly Father is not helping you to feel that.  And then you have questions about things in the church that don't make sense.  But my testimony was that it is okay to have questions and that really is what this church is about.  Having questions and then being patient enough to wait for God's answers.  Becoming like a child and realizing how much he loves us and that sometimes it is best for us to have to really work for an answer.

The rest of church was busy.  It seemed like all of the kids were going crazy.  One even escaped outside and we took a long time trying to find him.

This evening we invited Rachel and Dohun over to have dinner and play games with us.  They don't really know each other but it went really well.  Dohun in the Korean exchange student so he doesn't get out with friends very much.  And Rachel is one of the only YW that goes to a different High School.  It was Blake's idea and I think it was really inspired.  We had a great time all together and they were so good playing with the kids.  I could feel the spirit in our home.  And that is a wonderful feeling.  I want Dohun to feel that as he is investigating the church.  I want Rachel to feel that as she struggles with her difficult family situation and goes along as one of the only LDS kids in her school.  And I want Blake and I to feel that so we can recognize how important it is to have that environment in our home for ourselves and our children.

I am so grateful for Blake.  He is an amazingly tender and loving husband.  He is so kind and good to me.  I know he loves me.  He shows me every day how much he adores me.  And he is my best friend. I wish every woman could be loved so well. 

Hat trick!

Collin had a great soccer day. Three goals! You should have seen him. A break away each time and then he would get such a joyful look and sprint back to his daddy for a big hug. I love being a mom! 

I met a neighbor today that I have not spent much time talking with. She needed a listening ear and soon she was crying to me and I was hugging her. There are so many sad people. So many broken hearts. It makes me ache for them and with them. I invited her to come to church, to come to a place where she could belong. I was really hopeful that she really would make it tomorrow. But she texted me later that they won't be coming. So disappointing! She could have so much more peace and joy and have a home! It is really sad to see her turn down the offer. It would be like turning down a free delicious feast when you are starving.  Maybe next time. Maybe the seed needs to grow a bit first. 

Blake and I had date night! We went to the Virginia symphony. It is amazing how music is created. I miss music. Remember how in 8th grade I thought i was going to be a music director? :) the soloist was josh bell. And he was quite amazing on the violin. The last piece pushed my ability, or lack thereof, to sit still for an extended amount of time. But all in all it was fantastic. 

The Hungry Collin

Day two of my Collin food experiment was pretty rough.  I have a little boy who is going to bed hungry again.  By choice.  He refused to eat the ham and cheese sandwich for lunch and the stir fry and rice for dinner.  Oh, he was so sad.  And I felt so sad.  He had tears coursing down his face and snot running down his lip and he would cry, "Please mommy.  Please!  Let me have some more apple!"  (I let him choose one thing to have with dinner and he picked apple.  I gave him 3 slices) "It was so juicy and soooooo yummy!"  I had a really difficult time, but I held firm.  And I think I did a good job of being loving and respectful to him while still holding firm.  After awhile he asked if I would feed him. I told him no and he was devastated.  "But my arm is just too tired!  I can't lift the fork!  It is too hard and I am too tired.  You HAVE to do it for me!  You HAVE to mommy!"  But I didn't.  But I did love him.  With all my heart I tried to show him love.  I hope he gets hungry enough to eat soon!  I hope this pays off after a bit!  Blake and I were joking that pickiness must be genetic since we were both really bad.  I remember sitting at the table with a plate of food in front of me long after everything was cleared off and cleaned up.  Ug.  So, we shall see.  Blake is on board with me so at least I don't have to worry about him sneaking food up to him behind my back. 

Collin did ask me if we could make "georgie pancakes" in the morning.  There is a Curious George book about a pancake breakfast and it has a recipe on it.  I am actually quite pleased because last time we tried pancakes, he didn't like them and wouldn't eat them.  He even says he wants to put blueberries in them, like George does.  So, we shall see how it goes! 

I took some time with Avind today, both this morning while Collin was at school and then before I put him to bed tonight.  I am so busy sometimes, or on schedule, or tired and I forget to play with him and take time with just him.  And I am sad about that.  So, today I did better.  We played peak-a-boo on the couch this morning and I tried to teach him where to find the nose, eyes, ears, and mouth.  We laughed and snuggled.  Before bed I realized I hadn't read to him in a couple of weeks so I got him back out of the crib and we read books.  I held him and sang to him afterwards and he poked my nose and tried to say it.  He was adorable and he smelled like a clean baby.  It was a treasure moment for sure.  I am glad I slowed down enough to have those precious moments with him. 

Green Virginia

Green everywhere! I love the green.  Everything in Virginia is green now and it just fills me with so much joy.  And the Azailias are in full bloom which fills the world with all sorts of brilliant shades of red, white, and pink.  Definitely a favorite.  And today was the first warm, wet day of the year.  I guess we are under a tornado watch though so this loveliness sometimes comes at a price. 

So, today.  Oh, how would I describe today.  Really busy without actually accomplishing much.  I spent most of my time driving.  Blake and I made plans to meet up in Norfolk for lunch with his former secretary.  We hurried this morning so I could swim (BTW I really seriously think I am getting worse), and then hurried home so Avi could sleep.  I got ready for the first time in awhile since I would be out and about.  I asked around and got separate sitters for the kids.  It took me an hour simply to get the kids to their respective places for the afternoon.  We had a nice lunch at a new place on Granby street and enjoyed some time chatting.  I thought I would spend the remainder of my time looking for something at Anne Taylor in the mall since Emily gave me a $50 gift card 5 months ago for Christmas.  But that thing is like gold to me.  And I want to be sure to get something I really like.  So, even though I tried a few things on, I felt rushed and I never like to buy things in a rush. Except I suppose those shoes I bought the other day…

I hurried again to go get the kids. Karen Miller was a wonderful friend and invited us to stay for spaghetti since Ryan was going to be gone.  I really appreciated it since I was having one of those days where I was dreading making dinner.  Blake was staying late tonight since he was out for lunch and I wasn’t looking forward to a dinner with just the kids and I.  I feel a bit bad though because it was hectic for Karen and I am certain we made more work for her.  The Millers really are fabulous people and great friends.  I hope we can be like the Millers. 

Collin refused to try the spaghetti.  His pickiness is getting out of hand. Seriously.  So, I have a new action plan for May: I am going to make dinner. Whatever dinner I want to make regardless of what Collin wants.  And I will put a plate in front of him and he can choose to eat it or not.  But there will be no other food for the rest of the evening.  And we will not feed him, or battle him, or beg him.  It is up to him.  And if he chooses not to eat, too bad for him and he will go to bed hungry, just like he did tonight.  But I am done with this game.  I know this plan seems on the “duh” level, but it is really hard in practice.  But I am determined.  No special orders.  No fights.  Just food and his own agency.  He was pretty devastated to go to bed without food tonight.  So, maybe after a while it will set in. 

But happy for me, I got them home and in bed and now I get some time to myself to ponder life.  J And I do ponder.  With the interview going as well as it did yesterday I have high hopes that this job at APMT will workout.  I think I would really like that.  Where will we be in 3 months? What will our new home be like?  It is exciting and yet scary.  I know I will get homesick.  I always do.  Because I am the sentimental type.  But there are things I am ready for.  A bigger yard; a real neighborhood; flowers; I kind of wish I could just transplant this actual house to a new location.  Except I suppose I could go for a bigger dining area. We will need a new kitchen table and a TV of our own.  I need to continue to purge so we don’t move junk.  And we will have to move the cats again.  Oh, dear.  Change is in the air!