It is amazing the range of emotions I can experience in a day.
I felt pretty good this morning after going for a swim. Even when Julie backed out, I got myself to go, even when I almost stayed home. It was a good personal victory. And Avind didn't cry at all in child care today. Wahoo! That is a big accomplishment.
During quiet time today I went outside to enjoy the warm sun and I just took some time to ponder. I took in our little backyard and garden and wondered about our future. I felt the plants and marveled at the beauty of green. I love spring. And i am so grateful that the leaves are popping out. I sat on the garden bricks, soaking in the sun and the sounds, like a lizard or something. It felt marvelous.
However, this evening was difficult. And once again, food was the big instigator of my unhappiness. I am still so stressed about Avi. I try not to worry, and I had some wonderful friends pipe up about their little kids after I posted something on FB about it. So, I know he is fine. But I still just get anxious when he won't eat much. And then I go to the store to find some baby yogurt, ya know, the kind that has fat. Yeah, they didn't have any. In fact, I could not find a single yogurt that had more than 2g of fat. Come on! Some of us still need fat!
I also am trying to figure out plans for my temple trip with Stella. And finding sitters has been difficult.
Does it every feel like you are working so hard to get things done, and then just 5 minutes later, after all your struggle and work, it seems all undone? Yeah, that is being a mom.
On a different note, Collin has been quite rude towards me lately and I am not sure what to do about it. But Blake has done something that is amazing. And I love it. Everytime he prays for our family, he thanks Heavenly Father for me and then lists all the things I do for the family that he is grateful for. And you know what? Now when Collin prays, guess what he says? :) Sweet husband. And sweet boy.
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