Sick Day

It feels so strange to be home all by myself.  I am quite sick. I woke up last night and could feel my dinner still sitting in my stomach...not a good feeling. And I knew that I wouldn't be going to work today.  In fact, I can't actually go any further than my bed...I need to be close to a bathroom, if you know what I mean. Sorry if that is TMI.

 I am very grateful I got a substitute folder put together last week.  I did it with the thought that if the kids got sick I would be able to stay home with them.  But I am the lucky one I guess.  But the most amazing thing about this sick day is that I could still send the kids to daycare and that means I can focus completely on taking care of myself and getting some rest.  That is a leisure very few mom's ever get.  Usually when a Mom is sick, they still have to be mom.  So, this is indeed a blessing. 

Funny though that I am sad to send them away.  I would love a day with the kids all to myself.

I think I will find sometime today to finally chronicle how we ended up in Bozeman.  But right now, I think I will get some rest.   







We had a PIR day at work today...yay!  No students!  But it flew by lightning quick.  I wish we hadn't had 4 hours of meetings.  They really could have just given us the whole day to work.  I know we all have plenty to do.  And I know for a fact that teachers make the worst students. 

Kiddo updates

I need to write a kiddo update!

Collin-

• Oh, my Collin!  He is getting to be so grown up.  He is very sweet with his mama- told me the other day, "I miss being together all day mom!"

• He still loves pirates and often talks about his awesome pirate birthday party at the old house.  Sometimes he tells me he misses Virginia and misses going to the beach.  He also missed Lily.  He talks about her a lot. 

• Collin is getting better incredible at problem solving. He plays really well with his friends and is good at playing pretend.  He has a great imagination and so verbal and can make conclusions about things much better than other kids his age. 
•  He is excited that Blake is writing a book and helps him with ideas

• He has missed his toys and has loved when I get out a new box with toys.  He will spend hours creating intricate battles and stories.  

• I stay and lay by him sometimes at night and cuddle.  I love those moments. I miss him.  He has been my little buddy.  We actually probably get along better now because we have time to miss each other, but it is still so hard to be away from him all day.  For a few weeks it was really rough because our two or three hours together were battling over food and using the bathroom.  The last 2 weeks have improved drastically.  He will sometimes just out of the blue say, "I love you mom! You are the best mom in the world" and it makes me feel perfect.  :)

• He is really confident when meeting other people.  Even adults.  He will see them and say, "Hi.  My name is Collin. What's your name?" and he does it in a clear, strong voice. 

• He is doing better with food.  We went through a rough streak where he wouldn't eat anything that wasn't a hotdog or peanut butter and honey.  We were fed up and told him one night that he would have the food for breakfast unless he tried it.  So, he had it there for breakfast, lunch, and it wasn't until dinner that he finally gave in and ate it.  We did that twice.  It was miserable and I hated seeing him be hungry, but we made it, and now he will eat.  And I am grateful it has gotten better. 

Avind-

• This little baby is growing up quickly!  And he is such a little person now instead of a baby.  I still imagine how Collin was at this age and in a way it makes me miss Collin.  But I adore this age in kids and I am trying to soak it up.  Avind is definitely not the compliant little child that Collin was.  He can be downright defiant sometimes.  But then he is so sweet and dependent at the same time.  
• He combines our names so often.  He just wants one of us to come save him from his crib.  He will yell, "Mamadada!" Or "MaDada!"  He still doesn't sleep well.  He is more often than not awake in the middle of the night.  

• He was waking up a bunch a few weeks ago and had a fever.  I looked for new teeth but didn't see them.  But I hadn't looked in the back.  He was getting Molars before the other teeth.  I have never seen that.  Now he is getting another in front. 

• This kiddo loves football- grabs Blake's hand and goes to the tv saying "fut-bal fut-bal" and then swings his arms back and forth and makes sound effects as he watches.  He is so cute about it!

• He is talking!  A whole lot now.  He says, "baby" whenever he sees any picture of himself or collin as a baby, or any baby.  He can say a whole bunch of new words; ball, bat, no, mine, thank you, sorry, please, love you, go, omi, papa.  If fact, he tries to copy any word we ask him to.  

• I love how he says, "buhbye!" and waves as you leave.  If he want's to get out of bed, he waves at a sleeping collin and desperately says "buhbye! buhbye"

• He is doing really well with daycare.  It was rough for both of us the first two weeks, but I think it has been really good for him.  The teachers say that he is learning all of the kids' names and it cracks them up.  I think he really likes it there.  And for the first time he has peers his own age.  I love coming to see him at lunch time.  He is so happy to see me and runs over to me.  
• We are a bit concerned about his right foot.  It is really turned in and you can really see it as he walks.  It is something I will need to get checked out soon.  He often trips on it.  

• Sometimes he just kisses me over and over.  And his giggle is as contagous as ever.  He especially loves to laugh with Collin. 

We have had some fun family adventures since moving here. While the weather has been nice, we tried to get out and see some things.

• Our first trip was up Hiyalite Canyon.  We hiked up Palasade Falls. It was so good to get out and to hike!

• We hiked the M a couple of weeks ago.  It was really fun.  We did have to go up a fairly steep shale slope and I was on hands and feet with avi in the carrier.  He was dangling and thought is was hilarious.  He would especially giggle when my foot slipped!  I was a bit nervous, but we made it.  :)

• The next week we went on Pete's hill and it was absolutely beautiful and wonderful to be out. It really is a beautiful place to live.

• We had some friends invite us on a drive up to Fairy Lake.  Sure!  we said and followed them in their minivan.  Holy cow.  The road was terrible.  And I wasn't sure our car was going to come out unscathed.  Poor Collin was terrified.  He cried and screamed, "I don't want to die!  I'm scared!" I know it must have been scary.  heck, I was a bit scared.  more for the car than for us.  I eventually made Blake stop in the middle of the washed out dirt road on the incline and got Collin out to walk up the hill so Blake could focus on driving.  Collin was still distraught becuase Avind was still in the car.  :) Sweet boy.  But we made it up and Blake made it and it was all worth it.  The lake was gorgeous and Collin soon was in the freezing lake with his friend Alex having a marvelous time. He even said it was worth it, though he said several prayers on the way back and held my hand to feel safe.  

• Yesterday we were watching the steward kids and we all walked down to mainstreet for the MSU homecoming parade.  It was super fun.  I loved being with the kids and doing something local and fun.  They loved it and got a nice supply of candy.  Even though it was cold and rainy, I loved it.

• We also made it to the BHS football game on Friday night with the Jacksons.  It was fun to be out with the community and the school.  It was hard to keep the kids entertained, but it was fun.  We stayed until half time and then brought them home.  

What a month!  We took a lot of time to get things in order today at the house.  It is not there yet, but it is coming along.  I love when it starts to really feel like home.  

Happy First Day of Fall! Sept 24

I feel like I never have a spare moment right now.  But I had to take a moment to capture a tender moment with Collin.  I got out of work early on Friday and took the boys to the park and the library. It was heaven to have a few hours with my boys!  We naturally picked out a few George Washington books and some fall and apple books.  Yesterday morning in celebration of the first day of fall Collin wanted to make sugar cookies.  I told him we didn’t have time, but that we could have bagels and pretend they were cookies.  So, Collin and I had bagels with strawberry cream chesse, orange spinkles, and a couple of candy corns on top. And we read an apple book and then shared a yummy honeycrisp apple. 

So, this evening after the craziness of the day, I read another apple book with him.  And naturally he wanted an apple to eat.  I sliced up another honeycrisp for our family to share and gave out the slices while the rest remained on the counter.  Collin would sneak over and grab another slice and laughingly say, “You didn’t see me, but I grabbed another slice off the counter when you weren’t looking!”  Finally he declared, “I took the last slice when you weren’t looking mom! This slice is for the most specialist person.” Then he added, “Do you know who the most specialist person is? It’s YOU mom!” And he handed me the last slice and gave me a big hug.  

Being a mom is the best.  :)

I can do hard things Sept 17

Something I often tell Collin is this: "You can do hard things."  I have found that in the last couple of weeks I have had to repeat this phrase to myself quite a bit.  Now we get to see if I can live up to my own expectations.

Today was a hard day.  I put quite a bit of effort into planning and preparing a lab for the students so that I am not just blabbing at them every day.  We did that lab today and it was a mess.  And a total waste of time.  Sometimes I wonder if there is anything inside those heads.  It is amazing how much they don't hear.  It is incredible that I can talk for 10 minutes outlining instructions, do a demonstration, show where written instructions can be found, and yet still have several, "Wait, what are we supposed to do?  How do you make a slide?" 

My 5th period class in particular is a real trip.  9 girls and 20 boys.  Ug.  It is the period after lunch, and several of my special needs kids are in there. They are the class (seems like there is always one) that no matter how I switch up the seating chart, I can't contain them.  I really don't want to stifle the energy of the boys, but trying to direct that energy is exhausting. After that class today I was ready to throw in the towel.  I just want to stay home tomorrow. Too bad subs don't get personal leave days.

 

Teaching

Wow.  I am beyond tired.  And I am only on day 2 of teaching.

I forgot how draining it is to be in front of a class all day long.  My feet and legs ache.  And I am ready for bed and it is only 8:30.  Last night I felt so out of sorts.  I couldn't get myself organized.  There are a lot of little details that take time to figure out: setting up the computer to the printer; getting on moodle; getting a password for copies; figuring out passwords for the computer; and so many other things. And by the time I get through one of those, I don't have any time for planning. 

It is difficult to know that someone else is taking care of the kids all day. But something I can now appreciate is my ability to understand both working moms and stay at home moms.  I have stepped into a different world, and it is very difficult.  So was staying at home all day.  It is amazing how both can be so challenging in different ways. 

Another thing I can appreciate about this situation is how much I love and value my time with my boys now. I no longer browse on the phone while I nurse Avind.  I watch him every moment and marvel at perfect face and hands.  I take him all in- I smell him and feel him and hear him.  I love him and I miss him while I am gone from him.   With Collin our interactions together are more meaningful.  We seem to be best buddies.  I still have to be mom and tell him no and he still gets upset, but it is short lived.  He often nestles up to me and tells me he loves me and that I am the best mommy.  And I can't help but see how wonderful he is and am slower to anger when he is difficult. 

What a great opportunity for me.  I also enjoy the teaching.  I can already pick out the kids that can use some extra attention and love.  And I know I can do that.  It doesn't take much.  Just to be someone that cares. Someone who notices when they are gone.  Who knows, maybe we ended up in Montana so that I could help one of these kids and make a difference.