"Da-da?" "Again?"

Poor Avi.  He is our most recent victim of the stomach bug.  I didn't realize it until 4am.  Our little man had been sleeping in his own vomit.  When I finally went into him he was choking on it.  Oh, I felt absolutely like the worst mom in the world.  I kept thinking, how did I not go to him sooner?  I was so tired and out of it.  I am so sorry Avind! I got him cleaned up and back into bed and slept in the room with him.  I was wondering why it was so cold...come to find out, the heater was not working.  Why does it seem as thought those things always happen when someone is sick?

Lots of throwing up for my baby today.  Stephanie was a saint and took Collin for a few hours this morning so I could catch up a bit.  The worst was not being able to feed Avind.  He would sign "please" and "water" and point at any food he saw. I felt sad not giving him any. But any time I let him take a full feeding it all came back up. My VT brought us some Pedialite and some dinner.  Another angel stepping up to help out.  The heater did get fixed and Avind did stop throwing up.

Collin and I had some run-ins.  I hate when I find myself arguing back like I am his sibling instead of his parent.  I was struggling not to lose it.  He has been very disrespectful lately. I know he is tired. And so am I.  But I feel like we need to find a way to change our dynamic.  We did sit and talk for a bit.  I told him how sad I feel when he is mean to me because then I don't feel like he loves me.  He cried out for me a bit later and wanted me to get him changed so maybe some of that internalized.  We had a few good moments earlier in the day too.  We read the Friend together and did the crossword puzzle.  We played family tickle monster and watched Curious George together.  So, not a total mom-fail day. 

Highlight of my day:  We have been teaching Avind "again" and tonight after I nursed him on the bed, he rolled into me and cuddled up.  As I sang to him, he would sign "again" and say "da da?" perfectly mimicking the intonation I use when I say "again?" Oh, his perfect angel voice.  So clear, and beautiful and innocent.  I love him.  And I loved that moment.  He did it over and over.  I smiled every time.  It was so beautiful.