Monday, January 25, 2016

Tues. Jan 25

Today Blake left for his trip and northern Montana. I had a dream last night where we were captured by some people and they were going to take Avind away from me. I was so shattered and heartbroken. I did not want to live my life without my little boy. When he woke up this morning I held him tight for a few minutes grateful for his beautiful smile and warm hug.

I really love my little boys. We had ice skating lessons for Collin this evening. He runs on the ice rather than skates. I brought a bucket for Avind to push while getting used walking on the ice. He decided to sit in the bucket so I pushed him around creating a track on the ice. There were several little boys about nine or 10 years old who thought my truck was pretty awesome. They followed me as I skated and pushed Avi. They loved it. It was like we had a little train.

I got to see Blake on face time this evening. We had such a great week together last week. Now I miss him terribly. The bed is so lonely without him next me. I hope we never have to be apart for long times.I hope we grow nice and old together sleeping next to each other.

It was my moms birthday today. I am glad I will get to see her this weekend make her feel special. 

I am torn between planning a vacation for a family and one for Blake and I for anniversary and saving for a house likely have been. I want to be in our own house I desperately. It feels like we are still so far away.

Well it is time to sleep morning will come to early.