Thursday, November 27, 2014

Thankful

I spent a good amount of time this year considering what it is that I am most grateful for this Thanksgiving.  There is much and I will not list it all, but there are a few things that have really stood out. 

The first thing is my little family.  There are many who are not blessed with a family.  Or they have a family but it is not currently a source of happiness.  But my little pod, I love them and they are the source of my happiness.  I love that our little boys are at the age when they just want to be with us.  There is no competition with peers or outside activities.  When we pick them up, all they want is to be with Mom and Dad.  I treasure that.  And I am so very grateful.  I know the time will come when the pull of other things will compete for our celebrity status.  But for now, they are ours.   Safe together in our little cozy home.  And I love being needed and wanted by them.  The best word I can think of to describe the feeling when I pick up the boys and get home and then Daddy gets home is sacred. 

I take more time with them at bedtime.  I lay with Collin for a bit and feel his little chest move up and down.  I let Avi pull my hand down to rub his belly as he fades off to sleep.  I relish in their need for me instead of so desperately needing to be alone with time to myself.  That change has been the best thing about working full-time.  I cherish my time with my boys.  It is difficult to miss out on so much of the day with them, but what I am missing in quantity I am doing my best to make up in quality.  So, tonight I a grateful for my Collin and Avind.

The second thing is my Blake.  We have faced many challenges together already in our marriage and one thing that does is minimize the small disagreements and annoyances.  We still have little things pop up, but we tend to get over them fairly quickly.  That skill has developed through the harder things and the bigger things.  I am very grateful for that.  Two nights ago we laid in bed together holding one another; we talked and laughed and teased and I realized how much I love to be with this man.  I don't just love him, I love to be with him.  He truly is my best friend. 

And lastly I am grateful for our modern conveniences.  We have a warm home even in -15 degrees.  We have light in the long dark winter months.  We have antibiotics to take care of Avind's ear infection.  We have indoor plumbing that takes our waste away and brings clean water.  We have warm showers and insulated walls; cars to get around and ovens and stoves and microwaves to cook in and on.  Things are clean and bright and smell good and feel good.  I am so grateful for these things we take for granted. 

I am rich! Oh, so very rich.

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Primary Program

I learned a really valuable lesson this weekend about Collin.  Today was the primary program at our church and they had a practice yesterday during the morning.  I got the boys ready and we rushed out the door to make it.  I had practiced Collin's speaking part with him several times, although he did tell me he didn't want to get up to say anything.

When we got the the church and were just about to walk into the chapel where the practice was held, Collin put the breaks on.  He was NOT going in there and he was not going to practice.  I was quite frustrated at first since this practice was taking our precious saturday time already.  But I simply told him that Avind and I were going in and he was free to join us or not.  Avind and I parked on a bench in the back and it took about three minutes but Collin eventually joined us.  But he didn't want to go up.  And I decided that was okay.  We watched the practice and helped get a room set up for the pizza party that was to follow.  That was one thing Collin was excited about: Pizza.  We stuck around for the after-practice celebration and Collin got to spend some time with his buddy Hank and talk with his Sunbeam teachers who were great about encouraging him but not pushy.

At home I brought up the program a few times and talked about how fun it would be to see him up on the stand.  We practiced his line a few more times, and during family prayer I prayed for him to feel comfortable enough to perform in the program.

And what do you know!  This morning when he bounded into our room I asked him if he wanted to be in the program and he said yes.  I was actually quite surprised.  He was insistent on wearing his suit coat so he could look his best.  And he went up without a battle.  He looked perfect.  Adorable. Sweet. Smart.  Every good word I can think of.  And I was a proud Momma.  Anytime he caught my gaze he enthusiastically waved to me and I waved back.  It was a heart-warming experience.  Avind was excited to see his brother, too, and did lots of waving. He was unhappy with us for not letting him go up on stage to join his brother.  And when it was Collin's turn to give his line, he froze and covered his mouth.  And he said nothing.  But I was so proud of him for trying.  After the program he ran to me and I gave him a big hug.  He was happy and we were happy with each other.

I am so glad I was inspired not to force him to go up yesterday.  I just let him be for awhile and allowed him to get used to the idea.  And you know if he had decided not to go up, that would have been okay, too. 

Well, another week begins!

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Sick Saturday

We managed to catch another bug at our home again this weekend.  Poor Collin bore the brunt of it.  He has certainly had his fair share of stomach bugs this year. And this on top of me getting over a nasty cold from this week.

The weekend started off well.  The kids and I had a wonderful Friday evening and then our friends the White's came over to babysit so Blake and I had a date night.  We ate downtown at Sweet Chili and had a lovely time afterwards shopping at Target with no kids.  :)  It was a much needed evening together and I loved it. We each picked out a new winter hat.

Saturday started out well.  Blake was not feeling well so I got up with the kiddos.  No big deal, when he is really worn out he usually doesn't feel great when waking up.  I made waffles with the kids.  Avind is super cute when he says, "waffle" btw.  Our happiness was slightly hampered by a few thumps from our downstairs neighbor.  I kind of lost it and decided we needed to have a little chat.  I am grateful that I was calm by the time I made it down stairs and knocked on her door.  I told her how sorry I was for the noise and that I understood it was difficult to have the kids running around upstairs, but I also told her that I only get Saturdays and Sundays with my kids and they only get the weekend to play with one another.  I told her that I did not want to spend those precious moments getting after them over and over again not to play and not to jump and not to have fun.  I told her I have tried to calm them down, but that is so hard to help the little ones understand.  I told her Blake was unwell upstairs so we couldn't go there, and it was freezing outside so we couldn't go there.  I asked her to forgive us, but to understand that the kids need to be able to be kids.  She was pretty receptive and apologized but also told me she didn't know what to do because it was driving her crazy.  So, I gave her my number and told her when she hits a breaking point to send me a text and I would really try to take the kids out or upstairs and give her a little break.  I was quite proud of myself for being calm because this has been an additional cause of stress, and I already have plenty of that.  She did come over later in the afternoon to apologize and brought the kids some coloring pages and crayons.  I hope we can continue to make amends.

So, anyway, when Blake got up it was apparent that it wasn't just a I'm-tired not feeling well.  He was on the verge of throwing up.  Collin was dissapointed that his Daddy-Collin date looked to be canceled and during his quiet-time he started saying he wasn't feeling well either.  I thought he was just trying to be like Daddy.  Up until I heard the signature, "I am going to throw up!!!" scream from him.  I raced upstairs and got him to the toilet.  We sat there long enough that he started to fall asleep with his head resting on the toilet.  I laid him down on the floor for him to sleep, but it wasn't long until my poor boy was throwing up.  A slightly comical moment was when I started gagging, and then Blake finally lost his cookies.  The 3 of us in the bathroom were quite a trio.

Collin was sick all day.  He threw up 5 or 6 times.  By the end there was nothing left but his little body would heave and he would choke and cry out, "Help me!"  :( I was so sad.  I wish I could have done more, but all I could do was hold him.

I slept in his room last night on the floor just in case he needed me.  We all stayed home from church, again.  They are going to think we are inactive.  Oh, well.  We all seemed to do a little better this morning, and were better by evening.

An update on the boys:

Collin is starting to read!  We have a white board in the kitchen and sometimes we write words up there and sound them out with Collin.  He loves our little game and today he could sound them out and read them!  On his own!  It was so fun to see it click.  He and I are getting along quite well.  One good thing about working- Collin misses me and I miss him so our time together is very tender. I hold him more and am slower to anger.  And we laugh together.

Avind has his favorite words: "mine" and "no" followed by, "too-too" (train) and "tika" (peak a boo) and he loves to dance.  To dance sometimes he just swings his elbow back and forth.  And he loves to sit on your lap to eat.  He loves apples more than ever and is always holding one or two, or walking with a bowl of 3.  He will take your finger and lead you to the fridge and say, "Apum" :)  When I come to the daycare to see him at lunch or pick him up, it is the best.  He yells out, "Mom!" and runs to me as fast as he can.  At home it is all Daddy though.  He likes to be able to see me, but he wants his dad to hold him.

Another week ahead.  I wish I could stay home this week.  We have a winter storm tonight and tomorrow.  Cold here we come!

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Happy Home

I love our weekends!  To be home all together is such a special treat!  Sunday nights are always a bit difficult because I know it will be Monday soon and I will have to leave my kiddos and hubby for a busy week. 

Yesterday I had a very busy day.  Our home had hit an all-time low point and it was time to clean up.  From the moment I got up until midnight I cleaned and organized and scrubbed.  I feel much better.  But I also feel tired. 

We finally found a table!  I have been searching craigslist persistently and finally found the right one.  And it was still available! And wouldn't you know that the Lord would have another tender mercy for us.  The table listed for $100 sold to us for $60.  And it is just what we need.  Yay!  We can sit around the table together!  Now we just need someone to cook the food.  :) This little home of ours is coming together.  I also got the boys' room put together and we cleaned the loft.  Oh, you should have seen the little walking trail we had created through the piles of toys and blocks and legos to our room. It was particularly difficult to navigate at night.  And I also organized the garage to make space for our trash and recycling bins.  I set up the slide outside for the boys to play on while I cleaned.  They loved it!  And Blake came home and played some street soccer with Collin for a bit.  Right as I finished up it began to rain.  Another blessing.  :)

We had a fabulous Halloween.  The weather was unseasonably warm and I thought quite perfect.  This Halloween Collin decided he was going to be Jack Sparrow.  And would you believe we found a Jack Sparrow Costume and hat at the consignment store about 6 weeks ago?  I found a discount Pirate dress at Walmart to accompany his as Elizabeth Swan.  Our efforts to find Blake an affordable pirate costume (Will Turner) and Avind a monkey costume (the Undead Monkey) were futile so we ended up recycling the Zebra costume for Avi and buying a $4 safari hat so Blake could be his zoo keeper.  I thought we were all pretty cute.  For work I dressed as the crazy scientist complete with lab coat, goggles, and smudges on my face.  And, for the fun part, I sewed a toy frog on the back to make it look liked it had escaped and was hiding from me.  My students liked it quite a bit.  We took the kids Downtown to trick or treat and there was an incredible crowd there!  The whole town of people with children must have been there.  It was amazing.  But I enjoyed afterwards even better when we walked up and down Wilson and Grant streets.  It was like out of a movie.  Perfection.

Last week we had a wonderful chance to go to the temple and kid swap with the Stewarts.  We did a session first.  It felt nice to be in the temple again.  When we got out, we took our turn with the kids.  We were quite happy to accidentally find a Cafe Rio when on the way to Arby's for lunch.  Mmmmmmmmmm.  Happiness! It was a lovely day as well so we took the kids to a park to run around for a bit.  Before leaving for home we perused a few stores and finally found some boots for me that I am happy about.  I have been boot hunting for 3 years now.  And we got a good price on them.

It is amazing how going to the temple made me week so much more doable.  Two weeks ago, I was a total wreak.  I felt underwater in every way.  This week, I have had such an incredible feeling of peace and balance.  I have wondered a bit in the last month about my testimony of Jesus Christ and our church. There are some things that are very difficult to understand.  And it has caused me to reflect on whether I go to church and say I have a testimony because I really do, or because that is just what I am used to saying. Well, you can bet I have prayed a great deal about that over the last week.  And today, I had a very special experience.  It may sound trite to those who have not experienced this kind of a feeling, but I was in Relief Society and I felt sure.  Sure that there is a God, and that He knew me.  He knew me right there.  And I felt certain that we are where we need to be.  And that even though I don't understand all the doctrines, I am in the right place.  And I am a better person because of it. What a calming moment and an answer to my pleas to know that this is right.

So, let's talk about our cute boys:

Blake is getting serious about trying to write.  He has dozens of book ideas and can you believe he has begun to wake up at 5am each morning to work on writing?  That shows how serious he really is.  I have never seen Blake voluntarily wake up that early for much of anything.  :)

Collin has been on a Mommy kick and I love it. He and I are getting along really well.  His experiences at Preschool and improved and he has a new friend Sam that he really gets along well with.  He still amazed me with his kindness and intelligence.  We bought his some used xcountry skis last week and he is beyond excited! He practices in the hallway and holds them on the couch when we watches a show.  He even wanted to sleep in his ski boots.  He cannot wait for it to snow.  We skyped with Omi so he could show her his skis.

Collin  hates to be alone and often calls for Avi to join him in the bathroom.  :) We let him stay up to watch Once Upon A Time with us on Sundays and he loves feeling special and watching with us.

The other night Avi woke up crying after they had already been put to bed.  Before Blake got in to get Avind, he heard Collin talking to Avind and start to sing to him.  He made up words for Avi and soon Avi calmed down and went right to sleep.  He really is a good brother and the two actually play quite well together.

Avind is definitely on a Daddy kick.  He loves his Daddy.  He grabs Blakes finger and takes him wherever he wants to go.  He is saying more and more words.  Too-too! (Choo choo train) and geen (green)and done! even octopus (well, kind of  :)) He knows when the clock turns green that he can get up and we today he recognized that his puff balls are green.  It was the first time he recognized a specific color.

Avind loves to dance!  Any time Blake turns on music or sings to him, he starts to dance.  And he makes Blake dance with him.  Any music at all and his arms start to swing. 

He heard Collin say he was thirsty last night and he ran into the hallway.  When I asked him where he was going, he did the sign for water and kept on going.  He returned with Collin's water cup for Collin and handed it to him.  He is a good helper and helped Blake do all kinds of chores.  He had lose diapers and had to be home so Blake was home with him and he loved it. 

He likes to ride on the tricycle and go down the slide.  He loves Thomas the train and has been really into playing with the trains we have.  He loved the fake frog I had for my costume and desperately wanted to play with it.  It is his now, of course. When we got our new table set up yesterday, he got his chair from the breakfast nook and pushed it over to the new table.  He loves to yell, Done! and he has even said the prayer for us a few times. He will sing with me sometimes at night when I am putting him to bed.  And when he says bye or thank you he grabs your face and puts it right in front of his, cocks his head to the side and says, "tain too!" He is really into throwing things as well and has knocked Collin in the face with a train a few times. And he is adorable when he puts himself in time out...for all of 5 seconds.  :)

Oh these boys.  I love them so.  They make my heart sing!






Mommy Collin Date- Oct 8th

I will forever hold in my mind the image of Collin, dressed in a collared shirt and suit coat, with his hair done, sitting across from me in The Chocolate Moose eating his ice cream cone.  He was so perfect and the moment was so perfect.

Collin is having a bit of a difficult time at school (the preschool at the daycare). So, last week I took him on a special Mommy-Collin date. It. Was. Perfect. After family dinner, I got dressed up in a dress and even put lipstick on. Collin went ahead and dressed up, too. He picked out some nice pants and a shirt and topped it off with his suit coat.  He wouldn't let me see him until he was all ready.  He called for Blake to help him out a few times.  And since I told him I was going to wear lip stick, he was willing to do his hair. We took a few pictures and headed to Downtown.  I loved walking down by all the shops, holding Collin's hand, and talking about his day.  He was delighted when we arrived at our destination and he realized it was a candy store.  We ordered our ice cream and sat at a table for two.  What a wonderful moment to have with one another.  We talked and laughed.  He swung his legs back and forth and looked all around the room to identify all the candy he had tried before and those he hadn't.  We picked up a few sour gummy worms on our way out. 

Every person we passed smiled at us knowingly.  Like they were remembering a special moment of their own either as a parent or a the child.  We then made our way to Walmart to buy some hotwheels and caps for his cap gun with the money he earned helping us unload our moving truck. He was so happy.  I felt full at his happiness.  We got home late and I tucked him in bed, complete with his package of hotwheels.  That was indeed a very special night.  One I will always treasure.